Memory and the Golden Rule

Probably one of the most well-known passages of Scripture is that known as the Golden Rule, found in Matthew 7:12—“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (ESV).

Perhaps you’ve heard parents reverse this admonition, asking their children, “Would you want someone to treat you that way?” [Usually the implied answer is no.] “Then don’t you go treating them that way.”

Overall, the Golden Rule has been accepted by Christians and non-Christians alike as a good life principle contributing to a better society, but is it more than just a moralistic saying? To answer this question, a few other questions must be asked. . .

Why is treating others the way we would want to be treated so important? Perhaps it’s because if we did so, presumably we would be treating others well.

And why is it so important that we treat others well? Well for one, you might be thinking, it’s the right thing to do. You wouldn’t be wrong. But why is it the right thing to do? It’s right because everyone is equally valuable as a human being created by God Himself and in His own image. To mistreat the creation is to insult the Creator.

That’s all well and good, but when it comes to living out the Golden Rule, how are we to do it?

With our selfish tendencies and self-centered thought-processes, it is not natural for us to put others first. But it is natural to put ourselves first, and Jesus tells us that we are to treat others as we would want to be treated ourselves. We have no problem looking out for our own best interests, but how do we take that conscious step of projecting those “best interests” onto someone else?

Sometimes (indeed, most of the time) this requires a power outside our own, a strength from someone else—namely, God Himself. But I believe that oftentimes God’s ways of empowering us to fulfill His commands are through tools He has already provided us. In this case, one of those tools is memory.

I have an uncannily strong memory. Scenes from my past vividly replay themselves in my mind whether I want them to or not, particularly those that were accompanied by potent emotions. I think I have inherited this capacity for memories from my grandfather, yet while part of this memory may be genetically acquired, part has been consciously cultivated, especially when it comes to the Golden Rule.

From an early age, whenever I would be treated unpleasantly, I would make a mental note to remember how I felt in that moment so that, when I found myself in the other person’s position, I would not inflict such unpleasantness on others. Over the years, this has caused me to change the way I think and often the way I act because I have cultivated an ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes.

As an example of this practice, consider the typical senior-freshman relationship in high school or college. Freshmen are often looked down upon by seniors, belittled for their ignorance, or generally ignored. I think it’s safe to say that most freshmen don’t appreciate such treatment, but when they get to be seniors themselves they often treat freshmen just as they were treated, thinking that they’ve earned the right to dish it out just like they had it dished out to them.

But what if, instead, seniors took a moment to remember? What if they remembered the biting remarks, the snobbish looks, the dismissive attitudes? What if they remembered the way it felt to be belittled and resolved to make sure no one felt that way at their hands?

Then maybe, instead of just succumbing to the pattern they complained about as freshmen, they would do their part to change it.

The above example is just that—one example among many I could have chosen. Insert your own relationships into the equation, and the principle still applies.

If you are (or have been) a daughter-in-law, remember the things that frustrate(d) or hurt you in your relationship with your mother-in-law and resolve not to let those things exist in your relationship with your own children-in-law one day (or today). If you’re a student, remember what it is like so that when you become a teacher you will be more empathetic toward your students.

Indeed, empathy is one of the keys to living out the Golden Rule, and like so much else it is an ability that can be learned (more on that another time). And memory is perhaps one of the most helpful tools in cultivating an empathetic spirit. For when we store up memories, combined with a conscious determination and the indwelling presence of God, they provide the fodder needed for us to fulfill the law of Christ (see Gal. 6:2) and to live out the Golden Rule. 

To read the Arabic translation of this post, click here.

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