Where I live now, the grass stays green pretty much year-round. Aside from eleven years of my life when I lived in Memphis, Tennessee, this has always been the case. In Memphis, the only grass you’ll find is Bermuda grass, which has the unfortunate characteristic of turning brown in winter, making Memphis winters especially dreary—the grass is brown; the trees are brown; even the roads are brown rather than black.
So when my dad posted a picture of our yard on social media
a few weeks ago, our Memphis friends were amazed. How was our grass so
green?! See, for many of them, brown Bermuda grass in winter is all they’ve
ever known. Fescue grass that stays green all year is a novelty—something they
hadn’t even known to think of.
I don’t say this to belittle them or their experience in any
way. I had the exact (yet opposite) experience when we moved to Memphis—Brown
grass? What is this? Green grass (and black roads) were all I’d ever known.
But their reactions got me thinking. It’s been less than ten years since I left
Memphis, but I’ve already become so reaccustomed to green grass, curvy roads,
rolling hills, etc. that I’ve started to forget that everywhere is not like
here.
My family moved to the Memphis area from southwestern
Virginia when I was ten years old. At ten, I was old enough to be well aware
that this new home of ours was different—very different. And I loved learning about
the things—big and small—that made west Tennessee distinct from the East Coast
states I had known. Experiencing the differences in culture, topography, food,
language, and accent that existed even between two areas of the same country
helped me grow in many ways.
Learning that not everyone does things the way I do, says
things the way I do, or experiences things the way I do helped me widen my
perspective, deepen my awareness, heighten my curiosity, and broaden my
capacity for showing empathy. This has aided me tremendously in years since as
I have interacted with people from various places and backgrounds (and as I
prepare to move to the other side of the globe).
So why do I share all of this with you in the last week of
2020? Because I’d like to encourage you as we head into a new year to think
outside the box and not assume that everything in your current experience would
be the same in any other place. This might seem obvious to some of you. After
all, most people already know that everywhere is not like home. But it’s when
you find those things you didn’t even know to think about that your horizons
truly start to broaden.
When you learn that some people eat biscuits instead of rolls
(not to mention that not everyone means the same thing when they say
“biscuit”), that some cultures have groom-centered weddings rather than
bride-centered ones, that people in most places think putting ice in drinks is
weird, that engagements don’t happen the same way in every culture, that there
are other kinds of dressing than the kind made with cornbread, that not
everyone knows that restaurants can have drive-thru service, that people from
some regions actually like unsweet tea (or sweet tea), that some cultures think
shorts are immodest but low-cut shirts aren’t and others think the opposite, that
some places have sirens to warn of tornados and others don’t, that to some
people “iced coffee” is synonymous with “Frappuccino,” that not everyone knows
what a bridal shower/baby shower is, etc., etc.—that’s when the real growth
happens.
Simply put, there are things out there in the world that you
don’t know you’re missing—just like I and my Memphis friends didn’t know there
were different kinds of grass that behaved differently in winter—and the only
way you’ll know is if you encounter them yourself or cultivate a curiosity that
leads you to ask someone who has. Travel is of course one of the best ways to
encounter different environments. International travel will give you the
biggest exposure to differences, but travel within the same country or even the
same state will, in many cases, provide just as much interaction with new
things. If you are unable to travel, don’t worry—hope is not lost! Books,
photos, and videos from the library or the internet can help you in your quest
to grow through knowing more about the beautiful variety of God’s world and the
people that inhabit it.
And another resource—perhaps the best one of all—is the people you know whom God has brought into your life. Whom do you know that has traveled abroad? Whom do you know that has grown up in a different environment than yours? Who has moved around a lot? Who has a different family size than yours? Who lives in a different climate? Don’t be afraid to ask them questions about their experience or about their physical environment, past or present. I’d like to encourage you: before year’s end, try to think of one person you could talk to who would help you expand your understanding of life outside your own bubble.
If I am that person for you, I’d be happy to talk. For many
people, I’m the only person they know who is marrying an Arab and/or moving to
the Middle East, so I have had multiple conversations with different friends and
acquaintances who have questions about all sorts of things relating to those
experiences. Since our very first date, my fiancé and I have held to this two-fold
principle: don’t assume anything and don’t think any question is stupid. I’ve
asked him things like, “Do you have taco seasoning over there?” or “Would you
get in trouble if you just go down the street and pick up trash?” Sometimes the
answers are not what I would have expected; that’s why it’s important to just go
ahead and ask instead of assuming. So if you have questions about something I
can speak to, you can ask whatever they are with the complete assurance that I
won’t think you’re stupid for asking.
It's always a great time to learn something new. And as we
face a new year, let’s determine to expand our understanding of the world
outside our neighborhood. Let’s open ourselves to the possibilities that await
when we encounter people and places different from what we already know. Speaking
from experience, I’d say when we look back a year from now, we’ll find that our
lives have become all the richer as a result.
