In the last post, we explored what the Bible has to
say about dancing and established that all dancing is not made alike. Now,
we’re going to dive into two particular kinds of dancing and the ways in which
they provide excellent opportunity for learning life lessons while on the dance
floor.
The first kind, which I mentioned last time as the style
that my friends and I gathered together for in middle and high school, is
historical dancing, primarily from the nineteenth century. If you’re familiar
with contra dancing/English country dancing or have seen Jane Austen movies or
ball scenes from old westerns, then you’ve got the basic idea. This type of
dancing primarily involves group dances in which partners interact not only
with each other but also with the other couples in their set. Some early
ballroom dances, such as the waltz and the polka, were thrown in as well. The
second style is swing dancing, a high-energy, dizzying, exhilarating dance done
by individual couples. So when the ballroom becomes classroom, what lessons can
be learned or benefits gained?
Perhaps most obviously, these types of dancing are fantastic
exercise. When I stopped swing
dancing once a week, I could tell that I wasn’t in as good a shape as I was
when I was dancing regularly. We were created with bodies that benefit from
movement, and there is a distinct pleasure that comes from exerting ourselves
physically in a purposeful way. I am reminded of Olympian Eric Liddell’s
statement about feeling the pleasure of God when he ran; I feel a similar way
when dancing. Movement and music are both gifts from God, and when the two are
combined, we are able to delight in God’s good gifts in a particularly special
way and in turn to praise our Creator. Music connects deeply with us, and when
we move in time to the music, matching the expressiveness of its dynamics and
the precision of its rhythm, we are physically experiencing a reflection of
elements of God’s character, His expressiveness, His steadiness, His
creativity, and His orderliness.
Another lesson that comes particularly from these two styles
of dancing is the importance of the leading/following
relationship. Part of the package of our historical dance events was
abiding by (most of) the rules of etiquette from the time period, including the
fact that the men do the asking before the dance and the leading during the
dance. As such, our dancing was an excellent reflection of the pattern for
marriage that God sets forth in Scripture, where the husband leads the wife as
he follows Christ. In dancing, the man leads the woman as he follows the music
and the prescribed steps or figures of the dance.
In ballroom and particularly in swing dancing, it can be
disastrous when both partners try to lead or when the woman tries to do her own
thing instead of following the leadership of her partner. When dancing the
waltz or the polka, I often found myself partnered with guys who weren’t as
experienced as I was or who weren’t totally in tune to the rhythm of the music.
In these cases, it was often difficult to submit to my partner’s leading, but
if I didn’t, even though I had the good intentions of trying to keep us in time
to the music, we would be going nowhere all while tripping over each other in
the process. Needless to say, this was not beneficial for either of us, and the
enjoyment of the dance dropped significantly.
In a similar vein, dancing is a master class in trust. As someone who is so in tune to
the beat of music and was used to dancing a style that involved moving strictly
on the beat, I found swing dancing to be a whole new—challenging— ballgame.
Remember what I just said about trying to keep in time with the music instead
of following my partner? That was a surefire way to make learning swing
incredibly difficult. The way you keep in time to swing music is completely
different than in the nineteenth-century dances I had been used to, and I
quickly had to learn to stop focusing on trying to be on the right beat and
instead to feel where my partner was taking me. And this required an extreme
amount of trust in my partners—especially when they were twirling and spinning
me all over the place.
When I first started learning swing, I had a difficult time
and didn’t think it was for me. What I didn’t realize until later is that I was
partnered with someone whom I was having a difficult time trusting in general,
i.e. off of the dance floor, and it wasn’t until I danced with other partners
who were trusted friends that I was able to relax, let go, follow their lead,
and in turn fall in love with swing. In other words, trust is important!
Knowing who is trustworthy and who isn’t can make all the difference on the
dance floor, and this lesson teaches us how vital it is to partner with those
we can trust in life as well, whether in a romantic relationship, in
friendship, or in business.
The next lesson is for the guys. Going back to the concept
of following period rules of etiquette, gentlemen do the asking, and ladies
always say yes (unless they are physically ill, already spoken for, or do not
know the dance, the latter of which, as I always told people, didn’t fly in our
group, because we taught the dances as we went). Now don’t worry, I’m not going
to say that this mirrors how we should live our lives; women should not say yes
to everything a man asks them to do. (And in case you were wondering, there was
a way for a woman to legitimately avoid being asked if she didn’t want to be.)
But what following this rule did do, in our twenty-first
century ballroom, was give our guys a safe practice ground for taking initiative. They could ask a
girl to dance with full confidence that she would say yes. In a society that
has increasingly stripped young men of their confidence when it comes to
interacting with young women, our historical-etiquette-driven ballroom helped
them cultivate a healthy self-esteem and gave them the opportunity to practice
beginning what otherwise might be a very awkward conversation with a girl with
style and grace.
Related to this, both girls and guys had the opportunity to
learn how to interact with each other with mutual
respect and all-around good manners.
Beginning and ending each dance with a call to “honor your partner” (i.e.
bow/curtsey) helped generate a mindfulness of demonstrating esteem for one
another. The practice of gentlemen escorting their partners to and from the
dance floor cultivated an attitude of care. The convention of the lady’s hand
always being on top when hands are held communicated the importance of the man
both supporting and honoring her.
Each of these lessons is one that the ballroom is perfectly
suited to supply. Not only is the dance floor a place to delight in God’s good
gifts, to get a glimpse into His nature, and to express the creativity He has
given us, but also it is a training ground for healthy, mutually beneficial
relationships between men and women. And I didn’t even go into the familial and
communal benefits our historical ballroom provided by being a place where
entire families and multiple generations could dance together and enjoy
interacting with each other!
If you’ve never experienced a dance culture like this
before, I hope you’ve gotten just a glimpse into what a thoroughly delightful
and helpful thing dance can be. When used intentionally, there is no limit to
the wholesome, positive effects it can have. So here’s to dancing with joy in
the Lord and training ourselves to be as reflective of Him as we can be.
Happy
Dancing!
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