Monday, November 14, 2016

Empathy and Love in the Face of Fear and Hatred: The Aftermath of Election 2016

I tread carefully as I write this post, because no matter what I say or how I say it, there will be those who likely will take offense. But I am saddened to the core over the reactions I have seen in the past week to the outcome of our presidential election, so this is my feeble, imperfect attempt to demonstrate compassion and encouragement while issuing a challenge to everyone. Please know that I write out of genuine concern for each person who will read this, and please gird up your minds and join me in some tough self-examination.

First, to Christians who voted for Trump—instead of scoffing at people who are expressing fear of a Trump presidency, now is a time for empathy. I’ve already seen the posts in all caps from liberals yelling at those who would dare question someone else’s feelings, and while that method of expression is certainly not the most persuasive, the message has some merit: we must try to put ourselves in others’ shoes.

For some of us, it is helpful to remember how we felt eight (and perhaps four) years ago.  When I see people crying about Trump’s victory, I remember the tears I shed as a teenager when I realized Obama was our next President-elect. I was genuinely fearful for the future of our nation, having read between the lines and understood the underlying worldview behind his goal to “fundamentally transform” America.

I went to bed that night with a sinking, gut-wrenching sense that our country would become an increasingly hostile place for me to live as a Christian, and I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that no matter what happened, it would be okay because I belonged to God. But it was hard to rest in that knowledge and to overcome my fear.

And as the days passed, my fear began to verge on anger towards anyone who was “ignorant” enough to vote for such a man. (See, I told you I wasn’t perfect! God is still breaking me of such unholy attitudes.)

I can hear the objections now…How could you think that about President Obama? Such a fear was completely irrational; there was no basis for it! And how dare you insult my intelligence!

Is anyone else seeing the irony here? The exact same thing is happening now, except the tables are turned. Replace “live as a Christian” with “live as an [LGBT/non-white/Muslim, etc.] individual” and replace “Obama” with “Trump” and we have the discussions, to use a mild word, that have been saturating social media over the last week.

In the face of all these emotion-laden expressions, it can be difficult to respond graciously. So just as I remember my tears, I also try to imagine what I would have felt like if people who had voted for Obama accosted me with their perspective of why my fear was silly or not real. I wouldn’t have liked it. Now eight years later, it’s imperative for me to remember that, because otherwise I too easily fail to treat others as I’ve wanted to be treated for the past eight years.

Moment of confession here: when I hear people expressing the kind of fear that they have been this past week, my logic-oriented brain is quick to point out all the reasons that their fear is unfounded. In fact, I was planning on doing some of that in this very post. And even though I want to point out all these reasons because I want to show people whom I care about that they don’t have to suffer through a life of fear, I have to step back and recognize that even though my motives are to help, my methods may not be helpful.

See, the thing about fear is that whether it is based in reality or not, it in and of itself is still real. This post by Anthony Bushnell helped remind me of that fact. So let us try to exhibit empathy that we might best demonstrate that we are there for our neighbor no matter what. As Bushnell so poignantly expresses, “We don’t have to agree with the intensity of their fear in order to empathize with them. Compassion doesn’t require us to be convinced another person is entirely correct. It requires us to care about how he is feeling. Even if you think the danger won’t come to pass, the fear is certainly real.”

What kind of followers of Jesus are we if we fail to care for those who are hurting? Do we recognize that we are accountable to God for how we treat others? May He help us to show His compassion to everyone—especially to those with whom we disagree.

Now, for those who did not vote for Trump [remember, I gave fair warning at the beginning of this post that I’m an equal-opportunity challenger]—it is incumbent upon you to show empathy as well. Can you expect people to treat you with respect if you spew vitriolic tirades accusing them of being insensitive, stupid, or racist? Doing so only perpetuates a vicious cycle. If you really believe that “love trumps hate,” then start demonstrating love—even to those who voted for Trump. Christians, you are called to do this by the one whose Name you claim.

But perhaps you’re not a Christian, and you don’t care what God demands of us. Then let me appeal to this perspective instead: if you find that you can’t bring yourself to love those who voted differently than you, then you have no reasonable grounds to expect that they love you. You can’t demand something you are not willing to give. If it’s impossible for you to love those you disagree with, how do you think it is possible for others to love those that they disagree with?

I’ll admit, without Christ, loving those who disagree with you is incredibly difficult. Personally, I honestly don’t know that I could do it. We are far too concerned with our own egos, our own opinions, and what we think is best for our own lives.

That’s what makes God’s love for us so mind-blowingly beautiful. See, from the time of our birth, we don’t just disagree with God, we hate Him. We live our lives as His mortal enemies, insisting, in our pride, that we know best, and persisting to live for our own pleasure and comfort instead of for His glory. Can you imagine what an affront that is to the Creator for us His creation to so spit in His face?

And yet He loved us. I’m talking about real, genuine, I’ll-die-for-you kind of love—love that doesn’t wait for us to come to Him but that runs after us—love that planned from the beginning of time to pay the ultimate sacrifice of taking our own punishment on Himself—love that revealed to us what His standards are, showed us how we fall short, and provided a substitute who could give us His righteousness—love that desires for enemies to be made sons and daughters, beneficiaries of the eternal kingdom of God.

Whether you voted for Trump or not, if you struggle with loving those you view as your enemies, take a moment to quiet your spirit and ask yourself—have you experienced the life-transforming love of God? Have you ever come to grip with the fact that God created you to be good and holy as He is good and holy but that you are by your very nature evil and unholy—and there is no amount of good deeds that can ever make you good enough?

Have you ever been grieved over the way you grieve the heart of God?

Have you ever admitted the many ways you have fallen short and turned away from them to Jesus who lived the perfect life you never could? Have you ever accepted and placed complete trust in the fact that His death and resurrection made it possible for you not to have to receive the just punishment for your life of rebellion against God and that His perfect life made it possible for you to be presented before God as one who is blameless—good and holy as you were created to be?

If the answer to these questions for you is “No,” then I pray you will come to understand these truths about who God is, who you are, what God has done on your behalf, and how you can be restored into a beautiful relationship with Him and receive the gift of His Holy Spirit who will bring His fruit to bear in your everyday life—fruit that is encompassed by the greatest element of all: Love.


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